90 Days

Yesterday marked the 90th day that our boys have lived with us, which means that we can officially petition for adoption! We should have a court date by July 1st! To mark the occassion, some family came over for dessert ( a cake that Little Munchkin helped bake from scratch, and Big Munchkin decorated!) and we toasted them and celebrated how much we love them and just spent time together as a family.

90 days of good mornings and good nights
90 breakfasts and dinners
90 days of laundry
90 days of bedtime stories
90 days of kisses
90 days of play
90 days of thinking chairs
90 days of "I love you"

Only 90, and at the same time, a whole 90! Depending on how I think about it, it feels like it's been forever, or just a few moments.

I feel like I have known and loved these boys forever, but it seems like only yesterday that I got that phone call.

When they have a hard time going to bed it feels like "I can't believe he is still doing this!", but it really hasn't been long at all. Now, in retrospect, Big Munchkin maybe had one really bad month, and Little Munchkin has had a bad week or two. Considering that they have been uprooted from the one place they finally felt safe, after a series of different foster homes and placements, that they knew they were not going to attend the same school next year, and still has to adjust to two new people who have new rules and new ways of doing things, it's only been 3 months. I mean, I almost feel silly for feeling so frustrated.

There's a lesson there for me. It is important to take it moment by moment, but it is also important to make sure you are taking a good look at the big picture.

90 wonderful, fabulous days with my boys.

Becoming a Family

Our sweet angels have been with us for about a month and a half now.

Every day, and every minute has its ups and downs, and we are still getting used to eachother, and learning how to be a family. Mornings are rough. Bedtime is worse.There is still arguing. There is still a lot of "thinking chairs". Right now, it is the in between moments that I realize how happy I am to be a mom, to be their mom. I am so incredibly blessed. The last few days that I have dropped them off to school and am suddenly by myself, I become overwhelmed with the amount of love I have for these two, wonderful, incredible, amazing boys.

I remember life before they were here. Maybe it is because I am still new at this, but life before these guys seems to lack color now. Sure, it was easier, and I didn't have to worry about the happiness and wellbeing of two other little people, but sometimes just because sometimes something is easy, doesn't make it better. In fact, I find the old saying that anything worth having is worth fighting for is completely true. This has been frustrating, scary, sad, physically and emotionally exhausting, but I am so glad that we did it, every moment of every day.

I love you boys more than I think you will ever know.