So, it's been a while.
Like, a long while.
What can I say? It's busy! The boys are in school, and working hard. I can't even explain to you how much they are growing, and being amazing.
Little Munchkin started kindergarten. He is learning so much. He comes home some days, and I can see it in his eyes. He is just so tired! He has, at least twice a week since school started, gone to bed at 4pm and slept till morning!
Big Munchkin is in second grade. He is learning cursive, and multiplication, and getting used to doing things the Montessori way, since the boys are now in a Montessori school. He has a couple of friends (including a little girl!!! Do I hear wedding bells????), and is doing well overall.
Little Munchkin is in a phase of fibbing, and seeing what he can get away with in general. He does things like hides his dirty laundry instead of putting it in the hamper. That is literally.outside.his.door. He lies about EVERYTHING. My newest method is to sort of ignore it. Me: "Wash your hands please." Him: "I did!" Me: "Ok, do it again please."
Big Munchkin is dealing with feelings about bio mom still, now leaning towards being mad at her because "she couldn't take care of us", in his words. He also is having a little jealousy when we spend time with his brother, like, at all. There is definitely some one sided sibling rivalry. He tattles on John ANY chance he gets. He doesn't like to go in the ladies room, so our compromise is that when there is the opportunity, he can go in the family restroom, with his brother, and I will stand outside unless I need to go in. The other day, he actually LEFT his brother in the restroom, to come out and tell me that his brother had the NERVE, the GALL, to flush the toilet....TWICE!!!!! I immediately went in with him, and told him that it is NOT ok to leave your brother alone in a restroom, EVER.
Which leads me to how I am doing. I....yell a lot. I reach my limit fast. I lose my temper quickly. Let me be clear that I do not call my kids, or anyone else names, or anything like that. It's more like "WHY ISN'T YOUR ROOM CLEAN YET!!!!" Part of it is parenting in emergency mode, which I understand may last a while, but not forever. My parents were awesome parents. They did all the right stuff for us, but both of them tended to lose their tempers quickly, for a multitude of reasons. Now, I realize that, and I recognize and own that I have the same issue, and it's my job to change it for my kids. One thing I have done is taken some of the load off me. It was my job, every morning, to wake them up, and then direct everyones every move all morning. Now, they have chore charts (pictures for our pre-reader) and they know we leave the house at 8am, and if they didn't have time to finish breakfast, that's just too bad. Showers also have new time limits, since we were having a big issue with 30 minute showers (they just let the water run over them, or would turn the water on then go get their towels, then brush their teeth, all with the water on), which was a big trigger for me. If the boys know what they are supposed to do, I don't have to tell them. If it isn't done, they don't get points. In the near future they will get allowance, and if you don't have enough points, a certain amount of your allowance will have to be paid. I also have taken my own advice, and take some deep breathes whenever I feel myself getting stressed. I also give myself time outs. I will just tell them "Mommy needs a minute", and go into my room and just chill till I can handle it. I also rely on structured schedules (thanks to chore charts, and calendars all over the house so they know what to expect all the time) to help keep things on an even-keel. The boys do help out around the house. They do laundry, empty the bathroom trash, spray the shower at night, let out and feed the dogs, as well as setting/clearing the table, and things like setting out their clothes at night and cleaning up their rooms/making their beds. I also make sure that I apologize to them ASAP when I do yell, so that they know that it is MY issue, not theirs. I am getting better, but I still need to work at it.
All in all, I am more in love with these little guys every day, and I can't imagine what life would be like without their silliness and love and sweetness in my life. We are so incredibly blessed.
