Our boys, our sons, are fast asleep in their beds. I don't know how to explain what that feels like.
Today was Adoption Day, and it was a whirlwind! We had a lot of things to do beforehand and then once we were there, it was about three minutes of me in tears as I vowed to care for and love these boys as if they were born to me, and the attorney asking me if I understood that they were mine from now until forever. Then the judge signed the paperwork, and we took some pictures and...that was it!
In a way it was just another thing that we had to do. They have been my boys since I first met them. They are mine. So, in a way, I walked out and felt as if it was nothing special.
But, in some ways, it was really special.
Although I have been with them almost every day and night since March 28th (except for the recent sleepovers at Grandma's), in a way it feels like today is the first day of me being a parent; I don't have to ask permission or get background checks for everyone the boys spend time with (although I think the background checks are something I will miss!), I don't have to worry about court appointments, and I don't have to ask permission or check with anyone before making a decision about their well-being. It also means that they only have one name (not their birth names and the names they chose). It also means that I am their mom in every way. I am not the legal guardian. To the boys, it means that they don't have to worry about when they will leave, or if they will have to move again to someplace where they don;t know anyone or are separated. It means stability and predictability, and love forever and ever.
From now till forever, they are ours.
These little munchkins have had my heart since the moment I first saw their photographs, but I have fallen for them more and more every day.
We are just so lucky.
So is this it? Is there nothing left to blog about adoption? Not hardly! Even though it has been finalized, they have only been with us for about 3 and 3/4 months! We still have a lot to get through, my boys and I. But we will do it together, knowing that we are here for eachother forever.
I love you, my angels. Way more than you'll ever know.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
It's almost here!
First,
Let me apologize for not posting more often. When the boys got out of school, it got like, super duper ridiculously busy! I am loving every minute of it!
Now on to the good news! Our court date is just a few days from now! On July 22nd, our boys will legally be our boys forever and ever!
The boys are excited, and a little scared. Big guy is more scared about being in court in front of the judge. He doesn't like to be the center of attention when there is a lot of other people around. Little guy is scared, but he doesn't know why. He cries at almost nothing and can't pin down exactly why he is sad, is moody and cranky, and just confused I think. I feel terrible for him, and I wish I could help him more. For now, we talk and cuddle as often as we can.
Big guy had summer camp about a week ago and had a blast! He loved learning to surf and skim and stand-up paddle board. He was the littlest kid there, so he was a little discouraged that he didn't get as far as other kids did, but considering that he was the least experienced (kids who live here basically grow up at the beach from like age 3) and the smallest. He held his own! He even won an award for most improved! I think on Monday I will take him by the shop that ran the camp to say hi to his counselors. He really loved spending time with them.
Little guy has Lego camp this coming week (in fact, his first day is Monday and he will miss most of it!), and he will be building with legos and learning about space! How cool is that!
I am just so happy to have my boys. Even though things are not perfect, I am just so incredibly happy to have these amazing little spirits in my life every day. They had their first sleepover at Grandmas a few weeks ago, and I was distraught. It was too quiet, and I didn't know what to do with myself, and I just missed them. I was in tears most of the time, while they had a blast. I just love them so much. I am so lucky to be there mommy!
Let me apologize for not posting more often. When the boys got out of school, it got like, super duper ridiculously busy! I am loving every minute of it!
Now on to the good news! Our court date is just a few days from now! On July 22nd, our boys will legally be our boys forever and ever!
The boys are excited, and a little scared. Big guy is more scared about being in court in front of the judge. He doesn't like to be the center of attention when there is a lot of other people around. Little guy is scared, but he doesn't know why. He cries at almost nothing and can't pin down exactly why he is sad, is moody and cranky, and just confused I think. I feel terrible for him, and I wish I could help him more. For now, we talk and cuddle as often as we can.
Big guy had summer camp about a week ago and had a blast! He loved learning to surf and skim and stand-up paddle board. He was the littlest kid there, so he was a little discouraged that he didn't get as far as other kids did, but considering that he was the least experienced (kids who live here basically grow up at the beach from like age 3) and the smallest. He held his own! He even won an award for most improved! I think on Monday I will take him by the shop that ran the camp to say hi to his counselors. He really loved spending time with them.
Little guy has Lego camp this coming week (in fact, his first day is Monday and he will miss most of it!), and he will be building with legos and learning about space! How cool is that!
I am just so happy to have my boys. Even though things are not perfect, I am just so incredibly happy to have these amazing little spirits in my life every day. They had their first sleepover at Grandmas a few weeks ago, and I was distraught. It was too quiet, and I didn't know what to do with myself, and I just missed them. I was in tears most of the time, while they had a blast. I just love them so much. I am so lucky to be there mommy!
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