Remembering the sadness while celebrating the joy

In our excitement in becoming new parents, and the celebrating and love that we feel and share with you all, we are trying to be mindful of the factors that brought our boys to us.

No matter how you adopt a child, be it private, public, infant or older child, domestic or international, the child has experienced a loss. Sometimes biological parents know that they won't be able to properly care for their baby, and have the forsight to create an adoption plan. Still, there is a loss for the mother and for the child. Sometimes, as in our case, someone has to take the children from the parents because of their inability to care for their children. There is a great loss here for both. Even if a person does not know how to be a parent, it does not mean that they didn't love their child. The trauma that children experience before and after being removed from their biological parents can not be undone.

As the "second" parents that these boys will have, we have to remember that we can not erase their past. We can not pretend that it didn't happen; that their was trauma, and that when they were removed, their parents could not do what it took to get them back. They are bringing this pain too.

As their parents, it is our job to honor this pain and past, and do our best to fill their lives with joy, and happiness and love. We surely can not undo that which has already been done, but we can improve the future.

So, as we prepare to celebrate this journey we are about to embark upon, please keep our boys in mind, as well as their biological family, and those that have helped them along the way, and pray for all of them. Also pray for all of the children, please, who do not yet have families, or are still suffering through their trauma and struggles. There are hundreds of thousands of children in the world who do not know when, or if, they will ever find their forever families.

Thank you.

What to expect when you're adopting

We are so overjoyed that in 12 days, we will be able to start being parents to our boys, and really get to meet them!

Because we have done a lot (and I truly mean a LOT) of reading, we have at least a clue of what we are in for in the coming months. I wanted to give you all an idea, so I found this awesome blog post from an adoptive mom about her first year.

My favorite line in the whole thing is "Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting through...", because it is so true. We know it is going to be hard. We also know that it is going to be wonderful.

Disclosure Meeting

We FINALLY have a date set for the disclosure meeting for the boys!

What happens at the disclosure meeting?

Well, we don't know for sure, as we have never done this before. Here is what we do know;

Everyone connected to the boys will be there; Their foster moms, Guardian Ad Litems, the case managers and case supervisors, and probably others. After signing some paperwork making all information we receive at that meeting confidential, we will read the boys child studies, and then ask questions of all of those involved. Once we have done so, we will have the option to stop the process there. At this point, we are pretty positive that is not what will happen. When we decide to continue, we will sign some forms stating our intent to adopt the boys. Once that is done, we will be able to schedule some visitation with the boys, and hopefully they will quickly become comfortable with us and we can start being a family!

We know that it isn't going to be all sunshine and roses, especially at first! But we are still happy and excited and READY for this dream to come true!

A Match!

We are preparing to welcome two little boys!

We wanted to wait until after we had started visiting with the boys, because other than telling you that they are brothers, and they are boys, we really are not at liberty to say anything yet!

But we just couldn't wait any longer to shout it from the rooftops!

We actually first heard about them about 2 weeks ago. I got the call while I was at work, so the caseworker left a message. A foster-mom friend of mine sent me a text message saying to check my voicemail ASAP, and I saw that so I took a quick break to listen to the voicemail.

As soon as I heard that voicemail, I knew we had found our kids. In tears of joy, I finished the rest of my shift, and headed to Greg's store. I called Greg, even though I would see him at his store, and told him the good news. We were both so very excited! I also got to hear all about the boys from their caseworker a little later on. The only issue was that one of their child studies is incomplete, so we have to wait for it to be finished to learn everything about them, or to meet them.

LONGEST. WAIT. EVER.

While we are waiting on the completed child studies, we told the grandparents, and have been getting the house ready for two little boys! We bought bookshelves, and a friend gave us a great bunk bed and painted their room, and are rearranged our schedules to accommodate two kids! We are raring to go!

Of course, as we can, we will share more information with you!

Love,

       Gianna